I wanted to share with you all how I have been over these past three or so years. I am under no illusion as to how difficult life has been for many of us. The start of Covid and all the restrictions that came with it. I worked throughout this process within the NHS and managed to be able to see all my patients. I was lucky and so were they.
I did fairly well until 2021 and together with work issues and personal issues I started to fail. I failed big time not just with my work issues but with my personal issues as well - not least when, in November 2021, I lost my Mum. That really pushed me over the edge.
At the beginning of 2022 I knew that I needed something more in my life. I needed something or someone to care for. Without really trying, and in what felt like an instant, I found myself with a brand new Norjack!
Such a tiny, little fur ball of a puppy, she slowly started to grow older and bigger. What a joy she has been to me and my two girls. I lived alone, and although I worried about having a puppy and working, this all worked out really well. I was able to fit my diary around her; walking first thing, doing my patient visits, and then home to finish my work and walk again.
Life was good, and made better and bearable by this diddy little pup. Please do not get me wrong, I have had puppies and dogs all my adult life. My first two springers when I got married and then others - a black Labrador and two terriers and two yellow labs. When I left my husband I needed time to heal, get a job and I rented an apartment - not somewhere I felt suited a small pup as there was no garden. Now I live in a cottage - which my daughter calls “ Mummy’s Dolls House '' - small, but enough space for me and my Twiglet.
She became, unbeknown to her, my therapy dog. 2022 and 2023 would bring issues that I would need to be supported with, and there was my pup. Always happy to see me, always by my side - just there. I am not saying that others that find themselves in this position should go and get a puppy, but remember I had had many dogs before, as well as horses and cats. I was used to having animals around me and at home. What I am saying is - they are the most unbelievable animals, be they cats, dogs or horses. They are there, they listen and never divulge your secrets to anyone.
I took time out of my workplace to heal and in that time walked and walked. On these walks we met people I never would have met even though my village is small. Let’s face it we all drive - we say hello to our neighbours but never really know them. My pup has given me a different view on life. I cannot say how much I love this dear little hound. She has saved me more than anyone could imagine. She has been there for me, never questioned me, and fitted in around my life. To say I love her is an understatement - she is my everything. She is not pretentious, she is not cocky, she is just who she is and I absolutely love her for that.
Sometimes when things are feeling more bleak than we can imagine, we need to look at what we have. I have realised that my life has been made much richer having her in my life, but also I have been able to see what my family, children, friends and neighbours have been to me.
I hope that this helps anyone that is going through the trauma of mental health. It is something that is not always visible - it is something that one gets used to disguising and pretending that all is ok. One moment you can feel ok but the next can bring you down very quickly.
I am still healing and I realise that I actually am important. I am finally realising that my life is important - that my feelings are important and that yes, I actually matter.
We look at others peoples lives on social media, we watch adverts on tv and wonder why our lives are not like that, but the reality is real life is not like they try to portray. We all need time in our lives to heal and remember that we are important. We need to be able to reach out to others we trust. We need to know that there is someone at the end of the line to support us. I see things on social media, read things, and realise that there are so many of us that need a little helping hand sometimes.
For me, my pup has been that to me and I am sure to many others. They are great levellers. We trust them with our innermost feelings and they repay us with their love, respect and want. We are all looking for something or someone, and I believe that I have found that little person that wants to be there for me.
